Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I'm the Angriest Bird Ever

I feel this bird's pain.

I too feel rather grumpy, pudgy and like pecking someone's eyes out. Not sure what changed my mood from sunny with a chance of clouds to "Get the fuck away from me" with a chance of "Go fuck yourself."

Due to a "miscommunication" with my doctor's office, I'm a few days off schedule on my birth control. I recall the days of feeling blue, forgetful and fighting the need to ram people with my shopping cart at the supermarket. Those were the days before I went on the Pill. Since then, it's changed my life. Less crazy, less spaced out, less uncontrolled sobbing and, unexpectedly, larger breasts.

Just to be off schedule a few days and to feel as horrible as I do now is quite alarming since I am considering (CONSIDERING) whether or not I want to be a mom one day. This will require me going off birth control and, if impregnated, being swept out into a terrifying sea of hormones. Combined with having to off my anti-depressant, I can see the future. And it is pretty terrifying.

There's been a lot written about taking Prozac while pregnant but I fear Cymbalta will one day be shown to grow tails on humans. It's not for me to worry about yet, but today and yesterday have been a sneak, bleak preview of life off the Pill. Bah. BAH!

It is a terrible thing to be dependent on drugs for mental health. Obviously I'm not ashamed of having chronic major depression, it but I can't understand why anyone would want to take any kind of drug that affects one's brain chemistry if they didn't have to. Why put up with the side effects, the cost, the aggressive marketing, the insurance problems if you didn't have to?

Anyway. Hard at work on my "practical, humorous guide for young people coping with depression" book proposal. Can you taste the irony? I can. It tastes like burning!

1 comment:

  1. can i get an order of go fuck yourself with a side of kiss my white ass to go?