Monday, August 29, 2011

My Elderly Thoughts

It's been over a year since I've posted. I've been really busy. I got a new job, we bought an apartment, I got sidetracked with shiny objects and so on.

Since I'm a year older, I thought I'd share some of my recent thoughts, which have become more and more of the elderly nature. I should be panicked about some of these but I've become mushy-brained and sedate from work, home renovating and other dull adult concepts.

My Elderly Thoughts

1) I remember when those jeans were in style last time -- and I hated them then.

2) You'd have to pay me a tidy sum to get me to eat one of those giant Pixi Stix.

3) You know who's nice? Our guy at State Farm.

4) That person has an awful lot of tattoos on her neck.

5) In my day, people got their tongues pierced. No one seems to do that anymore.

6) I'm really enjoying this New Yorker article about Rin Tin Tin.

7) It would have to be an amazing concert for me to remain standing for three hours after a long day of work. Like Tom Waits singing to me from a cloud of cotton candy while I'm on Ecstasy amazing.

8) Ugh, who wants to schlep out that far? And for what?

9) Luxury vinyl tile is just like marble but it's just so much easier to keep clean.

10) I recommend scrambled eggs after dental implant surgery.

11) What are all these teens listening to on on their iPods? Is it Ke$ha?

12) Tyler the Creator is no Ol' Dirty Bastard, I'll say that much.

13) Remember when kids played with Silly Putty? Maybe that's the problem.

14) I don't know, I think I like the other Miss Marple better.

15) Sweet, you bought Listerine!